Theologist John O’ Donohue wrote, “Beyond the veils of language and the voice of activity, the most profound events of our lives take place in these fleeting moments where something else shine through, something that can never be fixed in language, something given to us quietly as the gift of your next breath.” I call this something else “friendship”. I believe it takes love to be best friends.
One of the truly special Valentine’s Day moments I’ve experienced did not include the ordinary gift of a dozen long-stemmed red roses, a card, jewelry or perfume. It came with something much more meaningful to me: time together, nothing planned and everything possible, hanging out together as best friends. Holding hands and connecting as two spirits embodied in flesh.
When working with your spouse, it is easy to get caught up in the daily to-dos and lose sight of what’s most important in keeping my relationship healthy: being together, not as business partners or lovers, but as friends.
My partner Stuart and I were friends first before we became what seems is sold as the golden ticket into a happy and fulfilled life: becoming lovers. While I love the lover moments, it is the time spent as friends I cherish the most.
I often find myself questioning the deep friendship we have by what the media seems to be obsessed with telling me about and defining as the ultimate relationship: one filled with sex where being lovers is the most important thing. Maybe it’s because I’m 67 and the sex and lover relationship has shifted into something different for me, something I actually find more meaningful, fulfilling, sustainable, and deeply satisfying to all of my seven chakras, not just my sexual center! Or maybe it’s that I have reached Nirvana and I’m at the top of the mountain where I can see the all that is? No matter what, for me, there’s no better Valentine’s Day gift that time to be with my best friend. Time to remember how much we like and respect each other and how we are inspired and motivated by each other to be better, more loving people, towards all people. Lover’s of humanity is who we are.
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