Yours, Mine, + Ours, With Debbie Rosas

I believe identity is one of those things built into being human. Maybe it starts with the big question, “Who am I?” Or maybe it comes from an even bigger question such as, “What’s it all about?” I do know this: identity has become something far more complex than when I was a young adult, just wanting to fit in and being identified as cool. Back then, identity was defined by who I hung out with and what I wore—not religion, gender, politics, or even economic class.

I still remember the complex feelings of “not fitting in,” as a teenager. Even as an adult, I can sense the fear, anxiety, and vulnerability from the external pressure of needing to fit in—versus standing in my unique and individual “Debbie” identity with my own personality traits, belief system, and moral code intact. Today, the influence to fit in is stronger and more insidious, amplified by social media and its paid influencers who dictate human identity.

How to look, behave, and consume in order to feel worthy or relevant is stylized and modulated through advanced technology which now includes artificial intelligence. It’s not just about belonging anymore; it’s about branding the self. Curious about this, I researched the word “identity.” It is defined simply as “the fact of being who or what a person or thing is.” AI added nuance, describing identity with distinctive characteristics that define us all.

Individual or group, including personal qualities, social roles, and belief systems; AI suggested that identity offers continuity through life changes, helping people feel like the same person—only stronger, wiser, and more aligned with purpose. I soon realized the quest to answer the question, “Who am I?” and just as importantly, “Who are we?” has long been undertaken by individuals, tribes, and entire cultures throughout historical timelines for generations.

I’ve had my own run with identity. Sometimes I’ve stepped into roles—mother, leader, teacher—for a sense of well-being or belonging. At other times, identity has been a form of play, such as a costume I could wear to explore different expressions of self. Every time I consciously took on a new identity, I got closer to knowing my evolving “Debbie” identity. I could feel what to keep and what to release, the more I got to know the me that is “Debbie.”

The more confident I became in my choices, the better I got at staying in relationship—with others, with my life, and with my true self—without losing the essence of my individual spirit-soul. That spirit-soul identity has taken time to develop. It’s my compass keeping me on a path of sacred purpose. Especially in the past five years, through the challenges of Covid and personal and professional trials; I’ve been tested. I’ve peeled away old identity layers.

I’ve discovered something deeper, which has been the need for a fluid shifting identity. One rooted in spiritual self-awareness. One that honors the universal yin-feminine and yang-masculine energies within me. This is what I now call my superpower—an identity both physical and ethereal, capable of guiding me to lead when necessary, and to follow when wise. Each night before I sleep, I ask, “How did I do?”—this is the identity that listens.

It takes courage to stand as an individual and self-cultivate a spirit-soul identity. But it’s worth it. It leads to an expanded sense of connectedness—a bridge between “me,” “we,” and “us.” Throughout my journey, I’ve tried on many identity roles: daughter, executive, movement artist, friend, scholar. Each has given me insight into who I am and who I am becoming. Each one has been a thread in the sacred tapestry of my one and only body and life.

These identities have helped me understand others too—their lineage, culture, and national influences that shape their sense of self. And, as the founder of Nia, I’ve noticed that many people often take on the identity of a student, teacher, or faculty member. But this isn’t about becoming me. It’s about becoming you. That’s why my image doesn’t hang in the Nia HQ studio. Go to our website and you’ll see faces of all kinds—mine is just one among many.

While Nia emphasizes personal growth, individualism, and self-discovery, it also offers something profoundly collective: a sense of shared humanity. It invites people into an experience where identity is not confined to role or performance, but expanded into purpose. People identify and resonate with Nia as a lifestyle with a body of wisdom rooted in the anatomical intelligence of The Body’s Way, enriched with somatic and embodied meaning.

Why does this matter? Because identity—especially spirit-soul identity—is essential to feeling truly at home in one’s own body and one’s own world. Without a rooted, lived-in identity, many people float through life trying on masks to fit in, feeling fragmented, or looking outside themselves for validation. The result? Fear, comparison, disconnection—and often, the impulse to blame, shame, or cancel others as a defense against not feeling whole.

But when someone taps into their spirit-soul identity—when they feel aligned with their values, embodied in their truth, and guided by a sense of sacred purpose—something shifts. They no longer need to shrink to belong. They no longer react from fear, but respond from presence. They don’t need to prove or defend their worth. They are the proof. That’s when life begins to feel authentic, joyful, and connected. That’s when people begin to heal.

This is the real magic of Nia. It’s why people say things like, “Nia changed my life,” “Nia saved my marriage,” “Nia helped me survive the loss of my loved one,” or “Nia kept me sober. Because Nia helps people reclaim their identity—through sensation, movement, stillness, music, and meaning—and, in doing so, they feel at home in their own skin. Still, identity is not static and people always explore additional and necessary pathways for wellness.

This helps them to discover new aspects of themselves. That’s natural. Evolution requires change. What remains universal, no matter the direction someone takes, is this: the sacred yearning behind every identity story. A desire to feel whole. To be seen. To belong. To live freely. To become. Each identity journey—whether through Nia or beyond—is a landmark in the human spirit’s quest for wholeness. And the most powerful, liberating identity of all?

This is what I wish for every being—that they find the courage to stand in their spirit-soul identity and, from that ground, dance freely through life.

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